That’s right, someone was sexually assaulted somewhere between the jumping out of the plane part and the landing on the ground part. Now granted, the guy just grabbed the woman’s breast by accident (since he’s gay and doesn’t really find the breast to be all that exciting), and while my fear has nothing to do with my tandem grabbing my man-breast, it has to do with being um… assaulted from behind at 10,000ft in the air over wherever I plan to go skydiving someday. I know that is disturbingly gross and very wrong , but I’m sorry, I just have bizarre fear that this may happen. If there was a way that could go go skydiving without this issue (say perhaps if I had a woman for a tandem), then I definitely would. Also, getting Grace, Justin and Andrew to go with me would also make it more fun, but I’m well aware that all three of them would rather drop dead than go skydiving with me.
Moving on, so I saw a ±250 lb man Monday in Harris Teeter buying Activia, that yogurt that helps correct your digestive system. Personally, I would never buy that stuff, especially after seeing this parody from Saturday Night Live:
In continuing with this theme, Annie’s roommate, Sarah (my new favorite person), decided that she should go around to every person at the party we attended (along with my first Saturday Night Out With… guest) who was smoking and proceed to tell the mostly intoxicated crowd that they need to make the current cigarette he/she was smoking the LAST ONE EVER, NO EXCUSES! The girl can deliver a Public Service Announcement while slightly intoxicated; can you get any better than that?
So in the early moments of Thursday morning last week, while attempting to study for my Psychology exam (a class I absolutely hate, in case anyone cares) at around 1h0, the power to a majority of Charlottesville went out amidst a lovely thunderstorm which lowered the temperature quite a bit. It couldn’t have come at a worse time because I wasn’t completely finished studying for my exam, but I managed to finish studying by flashlight. It was a rather interesting night to say the least. Later that day, I then saw a girl walking in the middle of the rain wondering why her UGG Boots were getting ruined. Really, you don’t know why because even a three-year-old could tell you why that is! On Friday, I spent the majority of the day with Sydney. We went to lunch at Feast before getting gelato with the Italian Club at Splendora’s. It was a lot of fun and I learned that I can still understand Italian, even if I continue to intertwine Spanish and Italian when trying to speak either one. They have a great sign when you walk in that I just had to take a photo of:
We wanted to originally see The Social Network, but due to a few issues, we just ended up seeing Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. To be honest, it was just as good the second time around. Sydney also enjoyed the film, as this was her first time seeing it. Now, I used the lavatory before the movie and so there’s always that stupid vending machine for medicine and cough medicine, well this theatre had one for some weird things, as y’all can see below. I’m just glad they didn’t sell condoms.
On Saturday, it was so cold in the morning that I went outside for my run, saw how cold it was and went back to bed. I later met up with Grace, Annie, Sarah, Emma, and Walt Dog, Mr. Wilkins during halftime at the game. While there, a praying mantis began to get rather close to our tailgate area, which lead to quite a unique few moments that I photographed for y’all to see:
Isn’t it just precious?
Well then it got too close for comfort so Walt Dog decided move it for us because apparently, I’m not allowed to step on it:
He then took across the parking lot to keep it away from us:
Amazingly, this was highlight of the game because it was just pitiful to watch. Before leaving, I got two great photos of the gang. I prefer the first one because Annie looks so «hood» as the kids would say.
HOW YOU DOIN,’ Annie?
That’s much better.
I’m not going to mention Saturday night because that will be coming out on Thursday in the first edition of Saturday Night Out With…
On Sunday after my run, I ended up stumbling upon an infomercial about Holy Land Amusement Park, which I just found to be hysterical because I used to see it so often. I was scared by the end because it lasted an hour long.
Andrew got to escape to Manhattan this past weekend (lucky) after convincing the fine folks at Delta that he absolutely had to get on a flight Thursday to New York. Only Andrew. I hope he finished editing his film by the time he reads this because I want to see it! Justin sold $400 worth of jewelry Monday and also received the delivery of his newest fashion accessory, a very cool safari jacket. I said that it was very Bond to which Justin responded by saying «yes, it is. Especially since I drink martinis, and do a countless number of other things like Bond. Hehehe!» He also said something about him wearing the safari jacket with an ascot, which is one of the few things mother refuses to let me buy. I’m hoping that by showing her a photo of Justin wearing an ascot that perhaps she’ll let me finally fulfill my dream and buy one as well.
Finally tonight, I would like to remind all of y’all who somehow forgot this, but next Friday, the 15th of October, is the single most important day of the year, the Twenty-First anniversary of my birth. I’m registered at all my favorite places, Magnolia Bakery, Bombolini, Hermès (specifically the grey tie that Shia la Boeuf wore in his first work scene of Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps), Ralph Lauren (where I am a Slim-Fit, Custom-Fit Medium; yes, that is a real size), Krug or one of the vineyards of Bordeaux, and most importantly, Nutella. Thanks in advance!
Expect the first edition of Saturday Night Out With… to be posted on Thursday evening. I will say that I had a great experience, though all I’ll say for now is that I have a serious issue with the obscene amount of flannel that I saw during the course of the fours hours in which I followed «The Unobtainable One They All Wish They Could Get.» Until then…
-JD
PS: The basil have grown a little bit I guess, but y’all can make that determination on your own.
Also, I’ve recently become a fan of Kanye’s new single, Power. Now, I can’t tell if it’s me or if he’s singing «Meryl Streep» in the chorus. Grace can’t decide what she thinks about this theory, so I’m leaving it up to y’all, my «loyal» readers to decide.
The Yapper 