I think I’m one of the only people who actually wanted to attend jury duty. So of course I wouldn’t get it. Now would I have wanted some boring tax evasion or other white collar crime case? HELL NO! I want what everyone wants: an OJ Simpson-style murder case! Why? Because they’re just so darn entertaining. I mean, Casey Anthony and that girl in Italy were such fascinating cases that went on and on (and you get like $30 a day for going so if it’s a long trial, you can buy a pencil at Hermès in no time! Side note: the fact that Hermès sells pencils for $95 is beyond outrageous, even if it is covered in leather, which is ridiculous in and of itself). Plus, there was OJ and nothing will ever beat that trial. The only thing that could top OJ would be… you know, I can’t even think of anything that might be able to top that case. Even Michael Jackson’s freak trial didn’t come close to topping the glove-fitting moment.
The only downside to jury duty is what you can’t bring with you. No BlackBerry, no iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch, Kindle, or anything else entertaining. They do have newspapers and magazines, but y’all know they get read pretty quickly. And I get why you can’t bring things, but really, no iPad? Yes, I’ve officially become one of THOSE people who can’t be more than 10ft from their iPad.
Meanwhile, don’t y’all just miss the good old days when people traveled with steamer trunks? I know I do. So I wasn’t exactly around for this grand old era of traveling, but mentally I was there. The fact of the matter is that it’s just easier to bring everything you own with you on a trip than it is to just put a few things in your carry-on and hope for the best. My motto has always been you never know when you’ll be invited to a black-tie affair at the last minute!
Grace and Justin fully support this idea, especially Justin, who packs just as much, if not more, than I do when traveling. Andrew, on the other hand, thinks I’m crazy and insisted I take roughly a third of what I had planned to take with me this week to Florida. And for some horrible reason, I listened. Justin is horrified. I guess it’s just part of getting wiser with age.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to travel for Thanksgiving. Instead, however, I was once again locked inside Hell’s Kitchen (I bought a shirt years ago from Scoop that has “Hell’s Kitchen” written on it and I wear it every Thanksgiving while helping Mother in the kitchen. I don’t know what I’ll do when it finally falls apart). I love referring to mother’s kitchen as “Hell’s Kitchen” because there always ends up being some overly dramatic problem at some point on Thanksgiving.
Well this year’s hellish ordeal involved dessert, which of course I would be making. So the vanilla bean ice cream was done the day before Thanksgiving as was the almond pastry dough, but the rest of the Apple Bretonne Tartlets from the incredible Sarabeth’s cookbook had to be prepped, assembled and baked on Thanksgiving itself. So the recipe was only designed for eight people, which is all we were planning on having as of Noon on Thanksgiving because they are made in individual tartlet pans and everyone gets their own.
At 13h30, with just four hours until show time, we were informed that a ninth person would be joining us. Fortunately, I ordered twelve of those tartlet dishes. The problem was that I only had enough dough for eight and so at the last minute, there I was scrambling to get another apple from the grocery store, marinate it in the sugar, flour, vanilla bean, and lemon juice. But of course, because few things done at the last minute, that failed (is anyone surprised?).
Sadly, Grace had to leave early, so thankfully, we had eight perfect tartlets. I don’t often brag overtly about the desserts I make (I only do a normal amount of bragging), but HOLY HECK this thing was perfect! I mean, it looked just like the photo, only better because instead of some baking sheet, I placed it on a beautiful silver tray covered in powdered sugar. If you could have tasted the one in the photo and then compared it to the one I made, it would taste the same! It was that amazing!
(And yes, I’m aware that I’m using an asparagus-serving fork; Edith Wharton is not rolling over in her grave because of this because she and I had a seance and she said that it’s fine)
Alas, it’s now December of 2012 and if my uncle’s right, we’ve got sixteen days left to live so I’m sorry goyish people, but if shit hits the fan, I still get all eight nights of Hanukkah! Speaking of the holiday season, I have a bone to pick with the folks at MoMA. As usual, I ordered my religiously ambiguous holiday cards (the Hanukkah ones are so bad it’s not even funny), but unfortunately, THEY ARE COATED IN GLITTER, which was not how they appeared in the catalog or online!
Now, I hate glitter. I hope the grave of Henry Ruschmann, the horrible man who created that hellish product in 1934 in New Jersey (of course), has been vandalized on a regular basis because there are no benefits to glitter. It stays on your hands for hours, even days; it gets all over EVERYTHING and it’s just a nuisance.
All of that said these are some great religiously ambiguous holiday cards that I’m sending out.
Finally today, proof that Grace is a great friend: only a really great friend tells you it’s okay to buy something at 3h0 (that’s AM for those of you who don’t understand the fact that I don’t believe in America’s decision to ignore the fact that we’re the only country that doesn’t run on a 24-hour clock). So a few nights ago, I stumbled upon this site called One Kings Lane, which is basically Gilt, but without the huge debt issues/massive layoffs and just for furniture/home stuff.
Next thing you know, I’m in one of the three Ralph Lauren sales buying the Ralph Lauren Cable-Knit Cashmere Travel Set in navy because “You travel a lot and I try to wrap as much of myself as possible in cashmere whenever traveling on any kind of public anything.”
Don’t you love it when a friend convinces you to buy something you want? I know my credit card company does.
Well, I’m headed to Palm Beach (aka: Heaven) tomorrow on the rails of Amtrak’s Auto Train so until next time…
JD
The Yapper 