It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Halloween, Everywhere You Go!

I apologize for not blogging in a few days but I’ve been unable to since the family visited this past weekend and I was um… stressing in ways ya’ll can’t imagine.  Plus, to add to that stress, I had quite a bit of work to do as well and the application for UVa is due in well… 4 days basically and so much is left to be done (and it’s all of the stuff that my professors and the school has to fill out).  Meanwhile, I’d like to inform all of my readers planning to travel to the Central Florida area that under Florida Inn-Keeping Laws, you can book your reservation in June and some schmuck can decide to overstay his visit and you have to stay in the connecting, not nearly as nice hotel, even if it is on the house.  Well, this is what happened to us when we checked into the Ritz Carlton and we ended up staying in the tackiest place ever: the JW Marriott… so gaudy it’s as if NJ Housewife Teresa picked it all out.  Now, Saturday night was wonderful; we (Satan, Satan’s husband and I) went out with Melanie, her mother, her mother’s boyfriend, her father, and her father’s second wife to dinner at the same table!  Honestly, I was kind of hoping it would reminisce the Season Finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey with the table throwing, but sadly, it was civilized.  I was seated next to Melanie’s dad’s wife, Kathy, who was very nice.  Melanie’s mother, Terri, mentioned that Melanie’s brother still plays with Playmobil (LOVED THOSE THINGS!  We spent so much money on them too, which is even worse) from time to time, which if we hadn’t just given them away, I probably would be playing with them again.  On Sunday, there was this massive car show at the Ritz and I saw it: The Bugatti Veyron 16.4 (well, the one I want is the Hermès edition but it was close enough)!  Unfortunately, the show was filled with a bunch of hillbillies with their MADE IN AMERICA Louis Vuitton bags, thinking that made them classy.

Moving on, Lisa and Mr. Perfect Gregory broke up and I just want to say that I’m so mad that they broke up FOUR DAYS BEFORE I GET TO CHARLOTTESVILLE!  MERDE!  Lisa claims that it’s due to her busy schedule and that they plan to remain friends; I just wish I had known before I started practicing my “I’m gonna beat you if you hurt my baby” speech.  Plus, she’s just upset that he brought it up before she did, and of course she would be mad about that.  But it’s alright, he had greasy hair and couldn’t smile properly so better luck next time dear.

My host in four days, Grace, had a bit of a rough week last week as lego, who could best be described as an equine version of Marley from that awful book turned even worse movie Marley and Me because he is crazy, got in a “fight” with Oliver, her little Maltese and Lego hurt poor Oliver (who in my opinion could have probably won the match, despite his petit size) so she was up all night and was worried sick.  Thankfully, he’s doing better so all is well.  I sent her a few things in advance of my arrival this weekend (including part of my AMAZING costume) as to make traveling a bit easier (trying to keep it to one carry-on, which is hard for someone like myself, who has lived his whole life believing that one should pack for a week when traveling for a weekend).  Now, the packing of said box was a bit difficult so let’s begin: First, I went to the fake Rollins Post Office to get the box, but of course they didn’t have the size I wanted so I cut it down to be the correct size.  Then, I had to use computer paper instead of tissue paper to fill the empty holes and then when I went to mail it again, the idiot wanted to charge me $4 more than it should cost, claiming that because I altered the box, I voided the $10 flat fee price so I left there and walked a few blocks to the real USPS in Winter Park and finally mailed my beyond GHETTO (as in Soul Plane ghetto) box to Grace; only for you Bubbula.

Now, last week, I received my second birthday present (my family is um… slow and my friends at UVa are giving me my gifts when I arrive) from Andrew and ya’ll, it is this massive basket of sweets from one of my favorite places in New York, E.A.T. so I’ll be bringing some with me to C-ville because just eating a pecan square made it hard to walk DOWN the stairs because I now know how Paula Deen feels with butter physically flowing through my blood… it’s a lifestyle.  Also, get excited because Andrew’s producing debut is this Thursday so a SUPER MAZEL to him; I know it’ll be a hit! (I would be attending, but I’ve got an exam that afternoon)

Finally, I’d like to let ya’ll know the results of the last poll in which a whopping TWO of you (and I know who you are) said that Zebra was more masculine than a Leopard robe and this week’s poll is about which Disney park I should visit next (I bought a Three-Day pass because it was cheaper when Catharine and I went to Epcot for the International Food and Wine Festival and I have two visits left) so until next time…

-JD

Since When Do People Go To New Jersey Voluntarily?

Okay, so I apologize to my “many” loyal readers for not writing anything new since October 5th but I’ve been rather busy.  First of all, in a follow-up story, ya’ll will be glad to know that I’ve resolved my Costco card issue because Larry’s card will be transferred to my name so I can use it (pissing the sales people off: still so much more fun).  The reason for my not writing has largely to do with the fact that I had midterms last week and spent this past weekend and beginning of the week in Virginia for my Fall Break.  It was a lovely time to be home, especially since there were relatively few annoying little bitching babies/toddlers/adults who still act like toddlers on my flight and they slept (or used liqueur to contain themselves) the whole way home.

Being home was “interesting” because I basically went home to get birthday presents (backfired completely, but that’s discussed later) and because I can’t handle Florida much more and four days in the humidity of Palm Beach would have probably killed me.  It was so nice weather-wise (I got to wear a jacket, which I know isn’t that exciting UNLESS YOU LIVE IN A PLACE WHERE IT HAS BEEN IN THE 100s FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS!) and I was able to nearly complete my UVa application.  I got an Apple TV from my parents as my official gift (mother will get me another gift as soon as I pick it out and make sure it’s not over-priced) which is so cool (and even though we have HDTVs at home, I didn’t realize how much better it is until I saw the difference on my TV here at school which is an HDTV but I don’t have the HD service for it.  There was a bit of a problem on Tuesday however when I went to see my hand doctor, who because of his love affair with Snoopy Ties, I’ll call Dr. Snoopy (or maybe MetLife’s paying him, but I doubt that) because of my ongoing thumb problem (there’s no cartilage between the my thumb bones on both thumbs and when the bones hit each other, it hurts really badly).  Dr. Snoopy gave me some injection to help the right hand (to see if it works well enough) and I nearly passed out for some reason.  Then, my hand hurt so badly that I couldn’t even write with it (not good), but it’s feeling better now, which is good.  The plane ride home was fun because I got to sit with Melanie, my VA sista at Rollins, who watched me struggle to do my French homework with my hand in pain.  We then spent about ten minutes searching for my car because I could not for the life of me remember where it was parked (first time that’s happened) and we were literally chasing the beeping noise of the Audi around before realizing that we were on the wrong floor!

Then, Wednesday was spent getting reacclimatized to school (ugh)/ freaking about turning TWENTY (so old, I know) on Thursday, which was an interesting day to say the least.  I spent the world’s most important day (because without me, so many people would not be able to function and then there’s the whole earth wouldn’t rotate on an axis part too, but that’s a minor thing) enjoying myself and didn’t really go crazy, because old people don’t do that.  I went to dinner with Justin at a Thai restaurant, which was rather good and then watched 30 Rock (love) because I had class Friday.  Other than the Apple TV, I have only received one other gift for my birthday so far because no one knows what to get me (which is so true for my family).  The other gift was from my friend Catharine, who got me some chocolates, which are very good (I’m eating them now).  Since her birthday is on the 24th and mine is the 15th, we decided to do something to celebrate both of our birthdays so we went to Epcot’s Food and Wine Festival, which is a lot of fun, even though it was raining.  Then we hit up the rides and then drove over to the outlets, where we bought NOTHING and it’s so sad when you leave empty-handed.  The only thing sadder is that Melanie and I had gone to the Mall at Millenia Friday afternoon and neither of us bought anything worth mentioning (Godiva peanut butter cups don’t count).

So that’s what is new with me but did some strange stuff happen to the peeps.  Grace was in DC and I feel so bad for her dad, because they stayed at this hotel where the robe choices were either Zebra or Leopard print and he had to wear one to open the door for room service and he had to decide which one was “more masculine” and I can’t decide which one is, so that will be tonight’s poll of the week.  So anyway, she texted me to say that she was going to serenade me over Skype that night and she didn’t get on until 0h07, and while I was a little upset that she missed it, her reason for being so late is actually quite good.  So, what apparently happened was that Rayco was looking after her dollar, Oliver, and had left the keys to Grace’s apartment in her apartment while she was at a party.  So Grace went to the party to get the keys to Rayco’s apartment, riffled through all of her stuff to find the keys, finally found them, walked Oliver and then felt bad because she late (which is okay); PLUS, she was in traffic from DC.

Now, there is a bit of sad news to report: Lisa’s grandmother died and while we’re sorry for her family’s loss, what’s worse is that she is currently in NEW JERSEY for the funeral and has been there since Thursday!  Thankfully, she leaves Saturday morning at 9h0!  Hopefully, she didn’t catch the horrible, horrible disease that is Guido (it’s takes years of costly etiquette classes to cure it).  Plus, it was snowing at the funeral,  her parents found out that she likes alcohol (DUH!) and did I already mention that she’s in New Jersey?  I feel so bad for Lisa right now.

Finally tonight, MAZEL to Andrew for Finian’s Rainbow being in previews (so proud!) and a reminder to everyone that it opens officially on October 29th.  I sadly won’t be able to attend opening night because I have a midterm that doesn’t end until 17h0 and the play starts not soon after that and I’d never make it to New York; plus, I’ll be flying to Charlottesville on the 30th and that’s with a non-refundable ticket but I’ll be seeing it in December when I’m in the city.  I know it’ll be great though!  Anyway, until next time…

-JD

No Post Until Later

So because I’m still at home and packing and working on my UVa application, I won’t be able to blog until later this week (when I’m really stressing about turning 20).
-JD

Apparently, You Can’t Use Your Parents’s Costco Card Without Them… Learned That One The Hard Way!

Let me begin by saying how jealous I am that everyone else is on Fall Break while I am in the middle of a way too busy week.  My Mexican teacher (I’m no longer calling it Spanish) is in some serious need of some marriage time because her husband has been on an Air Force base in Georgia (with the Real Housewives of Atlanta) and she gets to see him this week for the first time in about three months and let me just say that for her sanity, and the sanity of my entire Mexican class, she needs her Señor desperately or else I might not go back to the class for much longer since she is going crazy.  Also, Happy October (my favorite month of the year since my birthday takes place in it)!

Oh, so on Friday, I went on a date (hence the reason for asking about kissing on a first date, which by the way, wasn’t very helpful since it was a tie of 43% between going for it and depending on how long I’ve known the person, while 14% of you said to wait until the second date) and this was the first time that the Audi had a date so mazel to my Audi!  As to the girl and where it is going, I don’t know but I’ll keep ya’ll (yes, I LOVE saying and writing the word ya’ll) posted.  And as for the did I kiss her question, the answer is no.

As the title of tonight’s entry says, I had a bit of an interesting experience in the Costco because apparently, I’m not allowed to use Larry’s Costco card since I’m clearly NOT LARRY (and I will have whatever plastic surgery is needed to make sure I NEVER do look like him) but in my defense, where else can I buy 48 cans of my favorite non-alcoholic drink for less than the cost of 6 cans of the same drink in a grocery store?  The answer is no where but Costco.  So, I ended up basically telling the sales lady to let me buy my Aranciata and Limonata drinks by San Pellegrino (I really only like the Aranciata but you have to buy both because it’s Costco), my 2lb block of Irish cheddar cheese, box of Carrs crackers (5 boxes inside 1 big box), a 9lb box of oatmeal for Justin (I felt bad for leaving on his birthday, plus he buys the generic oatmeal at Publix), and 200 paper napkins (I gave away 80 of them so far so I’m really just left with 120).  Now, I can proudly say that I have been um… kindly asked not to return to said Costco unless I have a card that has my name and photo on it which I’m not going to listen to because why would I be afraid of the lady with the red vest on?

Andrew went by the Finnian’s Rainbow rehearsal today (don’t forget to buy tickets) and said it looks great so far!  Lisa is going to be made a senior associate editor of the Life Section of the Cavalier Daily because the current senior associate editor is an incompetent moron who can’t do anything right and never deserved the title to begin with (look out NY Times!) and Princess Grace is voluntarily going to New Jersey tomorrow (bring your own oxygen, water (to brush your teeth and to shower with) and food), a state that is good for only 5 things: Princeton, collecting New York’s garbage, receiving shipments from cargo ships, providing old people with a place to go (Atlantic City) in their old people clothing, and for requiring someone else to pump the gas for you (because why on earth would you get out of your car in New Jersey?  Breathing that air kills brain cells)!  She is going to get Lego an MRI so best of luck with that bubbula!  Also, Erica has received two job offers and saw her nephew get baptised this past weekend so Mazel Auntie Erica!

Finally, after watching the AMAZING Entourage season finale, it finally hit me that I am actually turning 20 in almost 9 days, which is not exactly terrifying but it has lead me to begin to reassess my life and look back on all that I have done and decide what habits, foods, choices, etc… I need to end in a few days.  So, goodbye Nerds, Lunchable Pizzas (super vice), Smuckers Uncrustables (OMG AMAZING!), and maybe even Dr. Pepper (Coca Cola just seems more grownup)!  So until next time…

-JD

PS: I have not forgotten about “THE WORLD ACCORDING TO CHARLES,” but I’m having trouble recording it so I’ll work on it this weekend when I’m home and don’t have other things going on.  Oh, and to all of my UVa readers, Grace and I picked out who we’re dressing up as for Halloween and ya’ll are going to flip when you see us (all I’m going to say is that we’re an older Jewish couple from New York)!